Monday, April 26, 2010

....Just Another Manic Monday.......

Today started off on the wrong foot.

I almost shot H @ 7am.


With our .38 special. Fully loaded, no safety.

This morning, H left home at 5:30 headed to Minnesota on a business trip. I woke up with him and heated his biscuits in the microwave (don't think that I'm making homemade ANYTHING at 5:30). I stood at the door and waved him off. Then as quickly as my legs would take me......I ran down the hall and nose dived back in bed. The middle of the bed. Bliss.

At 7am, Oscar went CRAZY!! C-R-A-Z-Y!! He knocked down his gate and bolted down the hallway. I paused for a moment, only to hear someone shaking the front door knob. Seriously. My heart was now in my throat. All I could think was.....we are getting robbed......breathe.....think and think fast......breathe. My plan was to peak out of the guest room window, then bring out the .38 special and shoot in the chest (or whatever I could). It doesn't bother me to shoot a gun.....but it bothers me when I can't control my target. Anyway, while walking to the guest room to peak out the window, I noticed that Oscar wasn't barking anymore. Huh?? That's strange. Then I thought......"oh no.....they killed O-Man. Oh gosh, I was counting on him to bite their ankles while I shoot their chest! " Then I looked up......SCREAMED......then slapped H!!.....Hard. He was holding H, who was licking his face. Nice.

H thought it was funny, and couldn't believe how fast my heart was racing. He kept asking why my heart was beating so fast......


I was about to shoot a person for the 1st time in my life and it just freaked me out a little bit. I think I hit him again and asked WHY he was home when he should be catching a flight. He replied "I forgot something." Seriously......that's it. That's what you got??? That's it??

I couldn't go back to sleep.

Oscar and I later loaded up and headed to mom and dad's. It is there where Dad tried to kill me with my allergies.

About a year ago, mom wanted a golf cart to use in the yard. They live on acres......and she wanted something easy to drive around the yard.

A few weeks later, dad came home with a cam-o Bad Boy (a souped up golf cart with 2 racks plus a place for his guns...classy). Not what mom had in mind. Anyway, dad wanted us to take it for a spin.....and the more we rode around, the more I sneezed and couldn't breathe. I'm breathing out of my mouth right now. Glad that I don't have to kiss H until Wednesday. Otherwise, I would die.

Like H almost did.


  1. This is too funny! I'm glad H is still alive!

    And I am glad to know I am not the only one with a loaded gun, no safety in arms reach if I am home by myself!

  2. Happy happy Birthday!!!!
    Love you! Also, you are totally helping me redesign my gay blog this weekend at the beach-- so I can be more like the wonderful, the amzing blogger megan jones