Thursday, March 30, 2017

Late Night Mom Confessions

- Sometimes the playground is closed during the day.

- Late at night while all of my men sleep, I've been know to go to the refrigerator and crack open an ice cold juice box.....or 2.

- I'm saving up all of my monogramming money to hire a potty training nanny to come and stay a week with us and train my child. Back when I was preggers with the munchkin, I read '12 Hours Sleep by 12 Weeks' you know what I took away from that book?!?!!? I'll go ahead and tell you it wasn't the obvious of sleep training a baby!! It was that fact that you can hire people to come and live with you for a week or so and sleep train your baby.

Mind. Blown. much does that cost. And does it cost less to come and potty train vs. sleep train?!?

I would seriously pay someone to come and live with us for a week and help this mama out! $100 cash, some free monogramming and Campbell's cinnamon rolls everyday.

-Sometimes, Chick-Fil-A leaves out the "Frenchie Fries" until Jax eats his chicken nuggets. Then, all of a sudden.....I find them in the other bag.

- I have been known to go straight to the deli in Kroger and buy some mac-n-cheese and let Jax eat while I quickly shop.

Do whatcha gotta do.

I may have even bought the stinker a bunt cake from 'Nothing Bunt Cakes' just so I could make it through a Dr. appointment with him.

- Anyone else feel like their kid survives off of pop-tarts during the weekday mornings?

- Sometimes a cloud in the sky means that it is about to rain, so that means it's time to go inside and take a bath.

- Even though 'Toy Story' is recorded on our DVR......sometimes, it's just not on "t-bee" right then.

- We encourage Jax to cook with us. The more he stirs and taste tests, the more he eats. He's becoming bossy and will tell me "that's enough mommy" as I grate cheese over spaghetti.......and he thinks every recipe should have butter in it. Like mother, like son.

The majority of my day is spent trying to out smart a 2 year old.

There are a lot of days I come out ahead......and then.....some days......he beats me.

I tell H that Jax is making up words, and come to find out, the kid was just trying to tell me about a dodecahedron. I'll save you some time in googling that......I've already researched it. It's a shape with 12-faces. And, my kid knows that.

Somebody bring me an ice cold juice box. Mama needs a drink.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Thoughts for Thursday

Hey there frands!

Oh- you are certainly reading this correct! I've blogged twice in 1 week.

The reason for SO MANY BLOG POSTS is due to a bad head cold and fever. Otherwise, I would be unloading the dishwasher or cooking up a 3 course meal. Maybe on the meal. But probably not.

Hopefully this post will get you all caught up on our crazy fun life.

Some mornings, I wake up and have a house full of friends to feed:

Thank goodness Jax helps me out with their breakfast snack! Bless his funny bones, he calls Ernie "Burt and Ernie" because he can't tell them apart and we don't have the Burt doll. Did I confuse them?!? Do we have the Burt doll but not the Ernie?? HECK! They always confused me. 

If you are reading this and care to identify the "Bert and Ernie" doll that we have.......please let this mama know!! 

Big Bud LOVES LOVES noodles and PF Changs. One Friday night, H asked him where he wanted to go for dinner. His response "PP Chang.....noodles daddy."

Guess where we went?!?

Meanwhile, the kid was so excited he fell asleep and slept like this while H and I ordered all the food.
Of course he woke up hungry and mad that he had to wait for warm noodles to be served to him.

I cried on the first day of school which was a total SHOCK to me. Stuff like that NEVER gets to me. 


 But for some reason, my emotions were all over the place. So when 2pm rolled around, I pulled into carpool line on 2 wheels to pick this kid up. Then we raced home to make cupcakes.......and because I live on the edge, I let him lick the mixer beaters.

This is our ride to the pool. 

Don't be a hater. 

Big mama needs her float, and baby buddy needs his Nemo. 

We are TOTALLY those people riding in the hood. We are the people that neighbors snap photos of with their phones and send to their friends with emojis afterwards.

Jax did GREAT going to bed his first month in our new house. Then, one night, rookie dad H said: "Oh, look at us, we are such great parents who have it together and their kid goes to bed with no resistants or whining or crying. We are the best." 

It was something like that........

Anyway, since then, big bud doesn't want to go to bed on time. And sometimes he likes to hide in his room:

Luckily, I have a Master's Degree and I find him every.single.time.

Don't judge the short curtains. They were from his old room......and I needed black out curtains on Day 1, Night 1 in our new house.

I interrupt this blog post to go order curtains NOW!

Marriage is funny funny and strange thing. It's wonderful and fun, and crazy and hard.
A 9th year wedding anniversary is easy. And cheap. You don't buy or receive a lot because you are saving it all up for your 10 year.

Without mentioning it to each other, we bought new slippers for ourselves. Clarification, I bought slippers for me and said "this is my anniversary present" and H bought some for him and was making fun of himself and said "it's my anniversary present."

So this is who we are now.

Nothing screams sexy mama like some mule house shoes.

Meanwhile, I sent the photo to my young cousin........she texted back: #relationshipgoals

That's a bad angle for my ankles. This photo gives me flash backs to my kankles during pregnancy.

But to give credit where it is OVER due.....H did buy me a year's worth of massages......and a few facials. 

I may have cried over that too!! I had sorta joked with him that just having 1 massage is a tease. It's like just eating 1 M &M. But- having a years worth of massages makes one look forward to January. I only mentioned it 1 time......and thank goodness my man put that note in his phone! That may be another reason why our marriage works for us. H puts everything in his phone. I on the other hand, use a paper planner and just use my phone for talking and texting. 

To redeem our maw maw and paw paw ways from our slippers, we  dressed up and went out to dinner that didn't include noodles or sleeping buddies. We had big plans to go eat ice cream or dessert somewhere else after dinner, but we felt the guilt of parenthood and missed our buddy after H being gone for a week on a business trip that I picked him up early and we all crawled in bed and read 349,038 books.

That should get you caught up on our life through the end of August. 

Happy Grey's Day everyone!!

Monday, October 3, 2016

Late Night Confessions of a Bad Mom

1. I tell Jax that we are out of chocolate sometimes when he wants chocolate milk. That's my late night snack and I don't want to run out it during a midnight monogram session.

2. We use skittles in our potty training. I take out all of the red and orange ones as a prize to myself. I don't like the other colors. It's a childhood preference that has spilled over into adulthood.

3. I don't like it when my baby is sick, but it doesn't hurt my feelings one bit when he has a low fever and we just lay around. I may even use it as an excuse to get out of a function. Maybe. Just sometimes. Whatever. I'm tired.

4. I may have shed a tear this month when Jax realized that Mac-N-Cheese is actually good. I was questioning if the kid was even American when he snubbed box Mac-n-cheese.

5. Jax's teacher said that he likes to sample everyone's lunchbox at school. I stressed over this for about 30, it just takes the pressure off of me trying to come up with a well rounded lunchbox for the kid.

6. Big bud was so tired after a full day of church and playing and skipping a nap, he literally fell asleep on the bathroom rug. And because I'm a bad mom, I left him there for 10 minutes so I could dry my hair.

7. I've created a creature of habit. Jax knows when we take a right turn to drive into Flowood........Sonic will be waiting for him on the right. He knows they ALWAYS have his tater tots and juice box ready. I can pull in the drive thru and the kid starts yelling for his tater tots.

8. Over the summer while living with my parents, Jax slept with me every night. When we moved in our new home, that habit quickly broke. He sleeps in his room now.......until about 6:30 am in which time he knocks on our bedroom door and asks to get in 'mommy's bed'. I'm not sure where he think H sleeps.......but he only refers to our bed as 'mommy's bed"

9.  Sometimes while out shopping, Jax will see a "cooookkiieee store mommy"......and request to go in. Sometimes we buy 6 small cookies with the intentions of sharing with daddy when we get home. Sometimes we eat all six before the red light.  

Mamas: what are some of your confessions that make you a BRILLIANT mom?!?

Monday, August 22, 2016

Hello From Madison!

Hey there Frands! 

I would like to say that I promise to regularly blog now that we are moved in our new house, but, I don't like to lie. 

Do you know what I think about moving?? 

I think it sucks. 

Y'all! This is no joke at my age and with a tiny toddler tornado. 

All I do is just move stuff from one room to another. Then, I rearrange furniture just to move it back the exact way it was. 

Because we all know I love some bullet points- here ya go!

1- Jax is adjusting so well to the new house and his new big boy bed. He has only fallen out once, but he was so tired that he just fell and then fell asleep on the floor. 

2- Our neighbors are great! We have random playdates that do my soul so much good! Every time we walk outside, Jax begs to go to a neighbors house. 

3- Thank goodness, Oscar Mayer the Weenie Dog doesn't have anxiety with the move. I think he was so ready to get away from my parents crazy cat and loud happy dogs that he welcomed the move. (during one of our moves, the pup had to be put on an anti-depressant. kid you not. my dog was depressed)

4- Sweet Heavens to Betsy- everything is so close. I think everything is 10 minutes from our house. It's not, but I like to think we are that close to everything. 

5- I'm learning my new grocery shopping routine. I miss my Kroger in Laurel where they would special order items for me. Here in Madison, there is the BIG greek castle Kroger, then a smaller one across the interstate and one in Ridgeland. I think I'm breaking up with BIG Greek Castle simply due to the size and the fact they are out of everything on my list. Kid you not, I had to go to all 3 Krogers just for coffee. People. Ain't nobody got the time for that when you are hauling around a toddler

6- The girls of Madison are beyond nice. BEYOND! Everywhere I go and I tell someone that I just moved here, they give me their phone #. I met the sweetest stranger in the grocery store, and we laughed until we cried on the spice aisle. She had moved, and I had just moved and we were lamenting over the size of Kroger. It warmed my heart so much. 

7- Unpacking a house is for the birds. We have so much shizzle. SO.MUCH. I've already taken 5 loads of stuff to The Goodwill. 

8- Jax has been a trooper through all of this. That poor buddy has been hauled all around Jackson while I look for and buy up furniture and lamps and rugs. Then, return them. Kid you not, I bought him a bunt cake from 'Nothing Bunt Cakes' as a prize for him to eat while I pilled up 2 buggies at Hobby Lobby. 

9- My little piggy baby has turned into a picky toddler. The kid will be eating veggies out of a squeezable pouch when he is 10! My only saving grace with Jax's eating is the fact he can eat unlimited snacks from his shelf in the pantry. 
(He has his own little shelf in our pantry). His little snacks are veggie squeezables, bananas, crackers, apple sauce and I keep fruit in the fridge for him. If the little rascal isn't going to eat the meals that he asks for, I will at least control his snacks. Since moving, he has warmed up to mac-n-cheese. 

10- I'm so delighted to meal plan and cook for my little family again. I carved out an hour and menu planned through September. I cook almost every night. Some nights when I want a fancy salmon dinner, I'll feed Jax his organic hotdog at 6pm, put him to bed, and then H and I enjoy our adult dinner that doesn't involve ketchup. 

11- Our play dates at the pool result in this: a kid that is so warn out that he falls asleep while eating his popcorn snack.  Moms for the win! 

12- H judges a cook based on their ability to make corn bread. When this happened........I 'dropped the mic' and I may have said 'BOOM!' out loud. 

13- Life is good, but it is different and busier than we would have ever imagined. Between school, our jobs, play dates, unpacking, church shopping and renovations, we are nuts and don't plan on leaving for a road trip until Thanksgiving. 

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Ramblings From Sand Hill.

It's currently 12:30 am and I'm the only soul awake in the house. This is the only alone time I get during the day. If we are friends in real life, you know I need some alone time. 

So, we have been cohabiting with mom and dad since June 15th. Here's some things I've observed: 

1- They have noticed my little online shopping addiction......and they are worried. I've met their UPS and FedEx drivers. Oddly enough, they are both named Randy, and they are super super nice. I actually apologized to UPS Randy one day for all of the deliveries he is making and moms house even offered him some sweet tea. I just LOVE Amazon Prime.......and any other company that offers free shipping. 

2- Jax has separation anxiety now and needs a full account of where everyone is at all times. We go over everyone's location while he is on the potty, in the bath tub and when he is about to go to sleep. Now that we are in full on potty training, I generally tell him they are pooping in the potty. 

3- Mom and Dad eat bacon every morning. Which is probably where I get my love for the bacon. And my sweet child has picked up on the love as well. And apparently he has picked up some bad habits too! 

4- Oscar HATES HATES HATES living in the country. He hates mom and dads crazy guard dog, Spicy and he especially hates my brother's squirrel dog, Rocky. If anyone is ready to move's Oscar. Oscar generally sleeps 22 hours a day. Since our move, that has been cut in half and he is GRUMPY. 

5- Potty training your kid while at the grandparents house is comical. It's almost nonexistence. There's no potty training book for living at the grandparents house. 

6- Jax is around 3 adults all day long. And the stinker is picking up words and calling people by their first name now. During his night time roll call, he asked "where Brent go"?

Ummmmm......kid. Can we not call Paw Paw by his first name?!?

7- Big Buddy Jax wants to sleep in my bed. I'm torn somewhere between "of course I wanna snuggle with my baby" and "get in your own bed kid.........mama's tired." Jax will get a new big boy room when we move in our new house. That will include a big boy I'm sorta justifying him sleeping in my bed as "sleep training" for his new bed. I know it's crazy.......but I love my monkey and he's only little once. 

8- Big buddy works the system. If I say no, he makes sure Granna isn't around and then he will ask her for it. If that's a no go.......then his back up plan is Paw-Paw. That plan works 100% of time  and mom and I get Vetoed. 

9- Every weekend is a vacation for Jax. Since moving in with mom and dad, we have gone to the beach, Birmingham, Mobile, Eastern Shore and Madison. Once we move, Jax will expect a road trip during the weekend........but H and I have already declared that we will not leave our home until Christmas. 

10- Sand Hill is a much slower pace......which I welcome with open arms right now. I've introduced mom to Prime Pantry and the fact you can have organic pop tarts delivered right to your door by a sweet man named Randy that's a little apprehensive about the weenie dog, squirrel dog and sweet little mutt. 

Monday, June 13, 2016

Madison: Ready or Not, here we come!

This is the blog post that I have sorta dreaded typing out.

I'm so conflicted in with my emotions that I've decided to just put my head my head in the sand.

Just stay with me as I type it all out here. I'm using this post as my therapy session because Lord knows, I don't have time for a session!!

The Joneses are moving.

We are leaving our humble (and thankfully sold) abode and moving to Madison........but not before a little month and a half detour to Sand Hill first.

This move has been going on for months now, but I have been in denial until now. There's just something about having strangers pack up your belongings that make it real for you.

Our closest friends and family have known about the move.....but they also knew NOT to bring it up to me unless I talked about it first. I have been a delicate flower on the moving subject. Again, I'm using this post as my therapy session.

I LOVE Laurel. And our home. And the cows in our backyard. And the majority of our neighbors (side note- NEVER join your neighborhood FB group. It will make you realize that you live amongst crazy people with too much time on their hands). I never wanted to leave the home that baby Jax was brought home from the hospital to. Or the home where we created the perfect nursery for him. Where he learned to crawl....and walk.....I need to end this paragraph now, otherwise, I will have to get my baby out of his bed and rock him. 

H has tried to console me on all of the reasons that I don't want to leave our home......and he does have some valid points, but y'all. 

If you know me in real life, you know I don't like change. I mean, HECK, I don't even like changing the sheets on our bed much less homes, neighborhoods and cities! The fitted sheet is of the devil

Laurel is my comfort zone. It's where my people are. It's where Jax's friends are. It's the only place that he has called home. Someone please come and refill my wine glass here. 

I'll admit though, moving to Madison isn't that bad. When I throw myself a pity party, H will start naming towns in MS that I need to be thankful that we are not moving to. I get his point, but sometimes I just need to plan/host and be the star of my pity party.

Buying our new home has been the most comical adventure we have ever had. This is our 4th home to purchase and our 2nd one to have comical drama. We have a great realtor that has listened to our every want/need/wish........but, we wanted to make his life easier (and let's admit, a little more pleasant) we did a lot of research and driving around on our own. We have been traveling to Madison for weeks marking off and highlighting subdivisions that we are interested in. If you have ever traveled to Madison, you know there are 239,938 subdivisions. Heaven help us now.

First trip to Madison was used to secure Jax a new school.
The very first school we pulled in the parking lot of, we pulled right out of but quicker.

The next 2 schools were ok, but I didn't feel it.

The last school was the winner. As my heart was starting to realize it, I felt the tears coming on......and y'all.....I couldn't stop them. I started crying the ugly cry to the point that strangers were hugging me and handing me tissues. At one point, as the tears are still flowing, I had to hug a girl and cry on her shoulders because she reminded me of my friend and our children's minister, Cindy.

Since that episode, when I call Jax's new school, I simply refer to myself as "the crazy lady who cried during a 2 hour tour of a 1 hallway school." I had to see every room. I wanted to meet everyone. I couldn't leave without a peace of mind. 

At Jax's school in Laurel, on his first day, I had to trust complete strangers to watch and protect my 3 month old baby. Within less than a week, I grew to LOVE LOVE his infant teachers. They loved on him to the point I cried when he moved to the 1 year old class. I then wondered if I would like those teachers and questioned if Jax would like them, etc. Of COURSE they are the best and my child asks about them after school and on the weekends! One of the teachers even babysits him and he will wake up asking for his "Mimi"! THAT is what I was looking for in his new school. I need him to be loved on that much. Thank goodness, I think we found it.

On trip #2 to Madison, right after we asked Jax what he thought about moving to a new house, he opened his mouth and vomited everything he had eaten since birth.

Awesome, kid.


Mom didn't bring extra clothes.

I did the only thing I knew to do. I called our honorary grandparents in Madison and said "we are on our way! Meet us in your yard with the water hose, we will explain when we get there!" I had to laugh to keep from crying. After that fiasco, I bought onesies from Kroger and Jax wore one home that wasn't snapped due to him being too big for them.

Trip #3, 4, 5, and 6.....we looked at homes that we really didn't like. I can't tell you the number of conversations that H and I had like this:

H: did you like that house?
Me: no.
H: why not?
Me: it just didn't feel right.
H: was it the colors, or their crazy furniture, or the neighborhood?
Me: it just didn't feel like home. Show me something else.

I finally said.....just buy a house. Just buy a house and text me the address. Surprise me. I'm checking out of this process.

In the middle of house hunting, my dad had a hip replacement. The geezer is recovering so well......but on the day of surgery, it's a little nerve racking when it's your dad.

The nurses called our family to go meet dad in his recovery room. As that was taking place, H called me and told me NOT to go with my family because he needed to talk to me right then. Immediately. Mucho important.

Ummmmm.......H....this betta' be good. I'm ready to see dad. And ask him important questions while he's drugged up. 

My convo with H was pretty much:

H: How's your dad? Ok great. Listen. I just sent you an email. Look at this house. Look at it with your mom. Think long and hard, but make it quick on if you like this house. It meets all of our needs for our family. It has everything on our check list. I'm looking at it this afternoon and then I want to make an offer on it.

Me: Holy Smokes. I need to sit down. Ya' know what........just buy it.

H: Really?!?

Me: I like all of the small thumbnail photos that I can see on my phone. Really. Just go buy it. Let's do this.

H: Are you stealing meds from your dad?

Me: not yet.......but you better believe I'm about to ask the nurse for a little water cup of valium.

4 hours later, H put an offer on the house. 12 hours later, we are under contract. 2 days later, I see it in person for the first time.

I have never been on a blind date before. I can only imagine the crazy emotions you have leading up to meeting someone that you may or may not like and sizing them up on a first impression. Seeing our new home for the first time was like my blind date.

By the time we left our new home after doing our walk though, I stood in the front yard and cried. I'm sure the neighbors were like "Awesome! We are trading normal people for this crazy crew."

We do not close on our new home until the end of, thankfully, we are moving in with my parents. I had a little family meeting with mom and dad to set the ground rules:

1- don't feed my child sugar. 
2- Jax isn't on vacay. He goes to bed at 7:15pm still. 
3- Mama makes the rules......not Granna......because generally, Granna doesn't have rules.....which is why we need rules. 

Mom and Dad are so happy about this they have agreed to the above rules. Poor Jax and Oscar have NO CLUE what's going on. 

Due to our crazy summer schedule......I'm ready to move now. I think God did all of this on purpose so I'll be ready and excited to move. I see what he did there......and I appreciate it. 

Madison: Ready or we come. In a month and a half. 

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Baby Buddy Turns 2!

I no longer have a baby. 

I have a tiny tornado toddler. 

2 years ago at this time (time as in the time I'm typing this), I was in full on labor prepping to start pushing out a baby......or so we thought. As I'm sure you remember from my labor blog post, big buddy's head was HUGE and I had a section at midnight. 

2 years later, sweet buddy is asleep in his bed after reading 4 books to himself by the light of his bug flashlight. 

It's funny and extremely sad how fast the time has gone by. 

To catch up on all thats Jax, here's some bullet points (you know I love a good list) that I don't want to forget. And let's be real here.....this is essentially his baby book. 

- Jax LOVE LOVE LOVES Paw Patrol. He will ask to watch "Chase on Case" literally the moment he wakes up. 

- When he asks me to "turn light on" he really means for me to pull open his curtains that are closed. 

- He's obsessed with a good juice box. He calls them "juice bot"

- He thinks Oscar Mayer the weenie dog is out to get him. 

- All bites and bo bo's are "ant bite bites" and they all require "medzine"....which is generally a baby dropper with water or juice in it. 

- He wears a true 2t in most clothes and a 3t in pjs due to his man size gut. 

- Thank goodness, he is starting to snuggle again. He went through a phase where he didn't want to sit in our, thankfully, he will sit in my lap again and watch a "moo bee"

- While out shopping, my secret weapon is his iPad...... his "pad pad." He is so enamored by it that he only gets to use it in public places where we want to enjoy the food or think. 

- Prior to his birthday party, we practiced for a solid week at blowing out a candle. I bet we used up a box of matching prepping for the day. 

- He loves to sing his blessing for dinner, and with each plate of additional food. He wants to ensure every bite is accounted for with Jesus. 

Jaxon Riley-

Today you are 2. You are the greatest accomplishment in my life. I love your smile, your tight hugs and your sweet sweet kisses. I melt when you yell "mommmeee"! Your excitement for life and trucks make me cry and thank God that he chose me to be your mom. It's my daily prayer that God molds me into the mother that you need. You have a tender heart and you are jealous when your dad hugs and kisses me. You generally tell him "No! Dat's my mommmeee!" You are learning new words and phrases everyday that crack us up. You think every situation is a crisis and you yell "mommmeee help!"  You have a curious spirit and you need to find out for yourself. You simply will not take my word. You are stubborn, and so loveable, and funny. You LOVE to laugh and have us cheer you on. When you are in trouble, your feelings are easily hurt. Time out is effective for you (for now). You LOVE "prizes" even if they are M&M's or a coloring book. 

Happy Birthday baby boy. My baby you will always be.