Journey: Part 6

Christmas was a blur after IVF Rounds 1 & 2 failed miserably.

I didn't feel like Christmas shopping or being social.

In January of 2013- we set back down at Dr. McDreamy's conference table and discussed options.

And then I cried. 

Option #1- Use a donor egg
Option #2- Adopt an embryo
Option #3- Beef up my eggs with steroids and do the IVF process all over again.

That was it. 

3 options. 

None of which made me excited.

So, I cried some more. And ate ice cream. 

We were not satisfied with our options, so we visited another Dr.
He reviewed my huge chart and notes.

He gave us the same options, but said that he highly recommended adopting an embryo.
He provided us with information on a clinic in Tennessee and said that it's a guarantee way for us to have a baby.

I held it in as long as I could.......then I let it all out.

I did the ugly cry. Which lead the Dr. to cry.

That's nice and all......but I really need you to keep it together. You are the professional and now you are making me feel like I will never birth a child since YOU are crying! 

Essentially: My eggs are lazy.
If we are real life friends, I'll be happy to elaborate over Mexican food.

It took 2 rounds of IVF to realize this.
Normally- Round 1 of IVF doesn't work.......and if Round 2 doesn't work, we are establishing a pattern.

We received information from the embryo clinic in Tennessee.
They are really nice and operate a professional clinic........but I'm gonna be honest, it sorta felt like we were applying for a spot on The Bachelor. If I were to offer up embryos, I would want the best too. However, being on the other side of this equation......I wasn't amused. 

I pretty much said NO when a few couples wanted a scrapbook that detailed your life and showcased your home. 

Nope. 

I don't think so. 

I don't want to be sized up for the square footage of my home. 
I don't want to make a scrapbook that has photos of the dogs and me and H at Easter. 
I don't want to show pics of us at football games, or H playing golf or our wedding. 

One night- I cried to H about the whole scrapbook thing.......and I was like "I'll have to hire Mary to do our scrapbook! I don't even know what to do! Our baby situation will rest on Mary's shoulders, and her crafty abilities." 

Because H is a smart guy- he nixed the embryo adoption that night.  

So- now we are down to 2 options. 

A month or so later, we consulted with Dr. McDreamy to find out about costs, percentages, likelihoods and timelines about the other options. 

We listened, I cried, we prayed then decided (over a 2 month span).

Of course we picked the option with the lowest percentage rate and hoped for the best. 
We like to live on the edge like that. 

We made up our mind to proceed with Round #3 with extra meds. 
We felt comfortable in our decision but knew it was the most difficult option in regards to price, statistics and timeline. 

H and I held hands and opened up our planners (and wallet). 

IF there is a beauty to IVF......it is the fact you have the ability to pick what month you want to start the process. We were both busy with work in the Spring, I was in the middle of comps,  and LARD knows I didn't want to do it in the summer.....so we waited until August/September. 

It was the perfect time. 

It was OUR time.