Monday, January 13, 2014

Never Ever Say.......

If you know someone is trying to get pregnant........NEVER, under any circumstances say the following to her:

1. Just relax and you'll get pregnant! 
Because that's how you get pregnant. You relax. That's it.
Let's do a quick poll. Raise your hand if you are relaxed.
Exactly! 
And I bet you have kids too!

2. When it's meant to be it will happen.
Nope. Not true. God is great, but he also gave you a brain. 
It's up to YOU to figure out when you ovulate.
It's up to YOU to go to the Dr. if it's not working.
It's up to YOU to be the advocate of your children.
Don't put your head in the sand.

True story: I had to tell family members to NEVER tell me again that it will happen when it's suppose to.....or when we are ready......or when the timing is right. That isn't comforting. At.All. 
I mean, it's like telling someone with a disease......you will be healed when it's meant to be. Again...that's not comforting at all. 

3. Maybe you should adopt....and then, you will get pregnant with your own baby! 
Seriously. Someone told me that.
Let's review a few things here.....if I ever adopt, that sweet baby is "my own" child. The minute they place the baby in my arms.......it's my baby and we have a connection and I'm their mother.
Second, do you know how much it costs to adopt? I'll save you the math.....it's a lot! Just as much as IVF if not more! 
Thirdly.....I don't like the idea of using 1 baby to hopefully have another baby.

People do not have filters on aisle 5 of the Kroger.

4. Take a romantic vacation! It will happen then!
Right. Because that doesn't cause ANY pressure.
H and I tried this helpful tip out.
We booked our trip to the Bahamas.
2 weeks prior, I had surgery. I went to the Bahamas with dermabond on my stomach. Romantic.

5. Just have fun with it! Don't put so much pressure on yourself! 
Exactly. Because after you have tried every possible tip, hint and old wives tale.......you don't have any pressure at all.

6. Oh- it took us 2 months to get pregnant! I was starting to think something was wrong. 
Seriously. I'm about go nuts here. Let me go ahead and apologize to you for having to "kiss" your husband during a scheduled time on month 2. I'm sure it was brutal.

Since my mom reads my blog.....I inserted "kiss" to replace "the s word."

Wanna know what you can tell someone:
- I will pray for you! I will pray that you find peace and comfort.
- Man, that sucks! I don't know what to say!
- I'm here for you if you ever want to talk.....or not talk about it.

Or.....you can write them a note of encouragement.
Or.....take them out to lunch and purposively NOT talk about babies.
Or......just listen when they want to talk.

To leave you with some humor:








5 comments:

  1. " I will pray for you! I will pray that you find peace and comfort.
    - Man, that sucks! I don't know what to say!
    - I'm here for you if you ever want to talk.....or not talk about it."

    Seriously, I've never even met you and I just want to wrap my arms around you and say "I'm sorry" as you cry. Instead, I'll add you to my prayers, ok?

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    1. Hi Patty! Thanks for stopping by and reading! Now that I'm pregnant with Sweet Baby Jones, it's only tears of joy now! Pray for our friends that are still struggling to be called Mama.

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  2. Omg, it's like we are going through the same thing. I was told 11 months ago that I may NEVER get pregnant. So we started looking into adoption and it can cost anywhere between 20 to 40 thousand dollars. And let's not start with IVF, 12 every time you did it since it's not always a sure thing. I HATE when ppl say, "don't think about it and it will happen".....uh no SHUT UP!!!! LOVE YOUR POST! I actually just wrote a post about this on my blog Underthesamemoonandstars.blogspot.com feel free to check it out.

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    1. Hi Melissa! We got pregnant on our 3rd round of IVF. It sucked and cost a lot.....but I would do it again! Hang in there woman! You got this!!! It's totally worth it all once you see the positive pregnancy test. Right now you are in the eye of the hurricane.....but take the plunge! You won't regret it.

      I'm checking out your blog now!

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