An Open Letter to Mothers.

I'm going to be honest here......I used to judge mothers (that is until I became one). 

I didn't understand why some mothers did the things they did until I became one. 

And to continue on with my honesty......I was even a tad bit naive during my pregnancy. I had these big hopes and dreams of parenting and what it would look like and how my child's disposition would be and how family would adapt to mine and H's parenting attempts.........and I'll be the very first to tell you that it didn't happen AT.ALL. as I imagined (don't get this confused with planned. I didn't plan anything. You can't plan with babies. You can only imagine. And hope. And pray. But mainly pray). 

I recently told someone that I have been judged the entire time I have been a mother. I have had to defend my parenting tactics since the day we brought Jax home from the hospital. It started on Day 1. And y'all, the sad thing is......we don't do anything weird! 

Why is your child sleeping in his crib in his room on night one? Because that is what the pediatrician told us to do and H made me do it. 

Why isn't your child taking a paci?
I'm not sure. Let me ask him. (At times, I sorta wish he liked them.)

Why are you waking your sleeping baby during the day?
Because I'm trying to get him a schedule because I'm going back to work. 

Why are you going back to work?
Because I am...that's why. 

The hard thing about being a mother is that other mothers judge you. They will ask you questions in a minute that don't matter. They are more concerned with the brand of food (or formula) you are feeding your child rather than tending to their own baby. 

Can I get an Amen and Amen.

Ladies.......why are we doing this to other mothers? 

Why are we not supporting each other and realizing that it's their baby, not ours. 

Let me type that again. It's their baby.......not ours. 

And, if we don't like what they are doing......just don't use it/buy it/feed it to your own baby. 

Don't we all have the same goal in mind: To be the best mother that we can be? 

My child's very first meal ever was a formula bottle from the hospital because of several reasons. Reason #1 was because of an unplanned c-section and a TON of meds, I was pretty much out of it and didn't get to see my sweet baby for over an hour. Reason #2,  I had an audience of family literally standing at the foot of my bed when I woke up. In that moment, I quickly realized that it was going to be ok. My baby was in my arms, he was happy, healthy and eating. That is all that mattered to me. That moment changed the way I see parenting. That was my moment. Granted, it didn't go the way I had imagined......but it didn't matter. What mattered the most was my baby was in my arms. 

I don't understand why we question or belittle our friends (or family) and other mothers when they are not doing things the same way we are? There is no manual to go by here. 

 I have a BFF that is about to give birth this week (Eek!! I'm so stinkin' excited). Because we are so close, I do tend to give her 'free advice'......but I always preface it with: this is what worked for us (or what didn't work for us). I by no means, am the 'end all be all' in parenting. My goal everyday is to try and out smart a 4-month old little man. I need to be 3-steps ahead of him. 

There have been several times where I have thought (and sometimes even said): My baby. My house. My baby. My house.

I have some amazing friends that I do go to for baby advice. They provide the 'no judgment zone' and they allow me to ask questions freely and they know that it's out of pure ignorance and not judgement. 

Questions and Answers with my honest friends:

Why do you feed your baby Gerber foods? 
Because it was on sale at the grocery store.

BOOM! Honesty. 

Why did you choose that brand of bottles? 
Because someone gave them as a gift. 

Why did you start feeding your baby 'food' at 4 months instead of 6? Because the pediatrician recommended it. 

Why did you choose that brand of diapers? 
Because they catch poop and I don't want to spend a lot of money on something that I'm just gonna throw away. 

All mothers need encouragement. It doesn't matter if you stay-at-home or clock in everyday, we all have the same goal: to provide the best for our little munchkins. Some people lose sight of that. 

Here's some advice from a mama that has been in the game for 4-months:
-don't get baby advice from Facebook/Pinterest/and bad Mommy blogs. 

-take everything with a grain of salt. 

-make a sign to carry around with you: My baby. My life.

- remember that a lot of recalls happen because an idiot didn't read the directions. 

- you know your baby better than anyone else, trust your gut (even if pregnancy/giving birth did relocate it)

-give yourself a minute. It's always fun to see your child light up after they have had a break from you. 
One of my very favorite moments of the day is picking Jax up from daycare and seeing his face light up! I cry almost everyday! 

Moms: we are doing good jobs. We love our babies. We are giving them everything that we can to make their little lives full and happy. Who cares at what age you feed your baby 'food', or what brand food you use, or if you swaddle or not. It doesn't matter. What does matter is knowing that you are providing a loving home for your baby.....

Let's encourage instead of discourage each other. We create enough doubt in our minds without having our friends and other mothers add fuel to the fire. 

Lessons from a New Mom.

Being a new mom, there are new skills that I've picked up over the last 2 months:

1. Utilizing my toes. It never fails that I drop something while holding the babe. It's much easier to just use my toes than bend down with a baby in hand. 

2. Ninja moves. You have to be lightening fast when changing the diaper of a little boy. Jaxon laughs at the fact the I pull out the pee-pee tee pees. He takes them on as an invitation to just pee in them. 

3. You must be ready for surgery. While I was laid up on the operating table severely drugged up with my eyes tightly closed, I heard the nurses calling out numbers to each other. Because I didn't want to be a diva patient, I didn't ask. Come to find out, they were cross checking their surgical tools. 

I. Die. 

Anyway, H and I have picked up the same process when changing a diaper. 

New diaper- check

Booty cream- check 

Wipes- check

Paci- check

All of the tools must be ready to go before you even think about laying Jaxon on the changing table. 

4. If we are going somewhere early in the morning, I will put his outfit on him during his early morning diaper change/feeding. It's saves time and tears. 

5. Lard at the gibberish in my planner. During late night pump sessions, I write down my to-do lists for the day. My planner has gone from conference calls, staff meetings and site visits to: wash bottles, put sheets on the guest bed and call the city about recycling. I even highlight them after I finish each task. Old habits die hard. 

6. When he throws up breast milk......I secretly think: well, there goes 20 minutes of my time! Can I get an Amen ladies?

7. I wear my hair in a bun most of the time. It reduces the chances of throw up getting in it.

As the weeks go by, I keep adding to the lessons that I've learned. Being a new mom is comical at times. Nothing can prepare you for it. Not a Master's Degree, not child classes, or advice from friends. It's one of those things that you figure out on your own......as it's happening. It's scarey, but, after you wrestle your kid during bath time and he is diapered and laying his crib......that's when you give your baby daddy a high five as you skip out of the nursery and head to the fridge for a glass of wine.

Count it as a win for the day. 

Oh- and another win for the day is bedtime at 8:45. 

Babywise- Week #4, #5, #6

I'm a slacker on keeping up with Babywise here.......however, I write it in my May Book on a daily basis.

His 4th week of life was a busy one with 4th of July.

We had fireworks downtown, then 2 back to back bbq's. His little schedule was thrown off, however, he slept so good so I didn't complain.

Our week pretty much consisted of:

-eating every 2 to 2.5 hours

- his sleep schedule is pretty much bedtime around 9 pm or 9:30 pm, then wake up around 2:30 for a dream feed, then up again around 5 am, then sleep until 9am

-his daytime schedule varies slightly each day. I'm not stressing out about it, because in 2 months, he will be on the daycares schedule. Plus, every time we leave home, it throws off his schedule. I don't wanna be the mom that sits at home because of a recommended schedule. Mama needs Target trips.

- this week he kept me on my toes with the throw up! Geez kid!

Week #5 and #6 is pretty much the same.

On certain days, you know what time it is due to Jaxon crying for his breakfast. The little bambino eats around 7am, goes back to sleep and wakes up again around 9am. Then, he is pretty much up for the day. He will take a cat nap here or there until the dang dogs bark at air and wake him up........but, in the afternoon around 2:30 he will sleep for about an hour and a half. During that nap time, I turn into a mad woman trying to do laundry or the prep work for dinner.

While I love a schedule- we are just enjoying the summer. We go to the pool, playdates, pool parties, Target, Granna's house, etc.......and it all throws us off until we arrive back home and go to bed. Until I start back to work, we are simply gonna enjoy our time together........and try our darndest to put him to bed at 8:45.

Sorry that I'm terrible about detailing the facts of Babywise on the blog.....I do however recommend purchasing a May Book to keep up with your schedule.

A normal night for us consists of:

8pm- bath time and jammers

8:30pm- last feeding before bed (in his room with the lights dim and his sound machine on)

8:45pm- burp and bundling in his swaddle blanket

8:46pm- I'm crying over his crib because he is so darn cute

**Did I ever confess to y'all that it took me a week to thank Jesus for giving us Jaxon in my prayers??

Oh- it's a true story. I couldn't get past the part of saying his name. I was a hott mess over our little man. H would pretty much drag me out of his nursery at night.

Now, I'm praying that we just stop pooping in the tub!

3:30 or 4am- dream feed. I smell his booty before I feed him.
Stinky butt = change before milk
No stinky = milk and going right back to sleep

7am- diaper change, bottle and depending on what we have going on, he either goes back to sleep until 9am or we are up for the day.

When I go back to work- I'll have to wake him up at 6:15ish for diaper change, bottle, getting dressed and I'm sure another diaper change.

We are still loving our loose schedule and it's definitely helping this new mama out! 

Babywise Week #3

Instead of lining this post out day by day and telling you sleep schedules, I'm just gonna do a briefing.

Jaxon had his 2 week appt last Monday and the Dr. asked about his sleep schedule. For some reason, I felt bad to tell her that I'm using Babywise, so I whispered it. She went nuts and thanked me for using it! Then, I wiped the sweat from my forehead! What a relief. She wished that all of her parents used Babywise.

The little buddy is a waking up once, sometimes twice in the middle of the night. Depending on the smell, I don't change his diaper during his "dream feed"......I'll wait and change him during his second feeding around 4:30 or 5. Again, we put him to bed and let HIM wake us up versus us waking him up to eat. Last Wednesday night, he woke up once for only 30 minutes and ended up sleeping for 8 hours that night. I was a new woman that day. I cleaned house and even trimmed the hedges because of the new found energy that I had.

Sunday night he woke up at 2:30, then 6:30. He went back to sleep at 7am, then started our day at 9:30. Can we pause to thank The Lord. Amen and Amen. 

I'm starting to see an increase in his appetite and he is starting to "wake up" from being a newborn. This is good and bad. It's good because I get to see his pretty blue eyes more. It's bad because we are skipping morning naps. 

He is eating 2-3 ounces with each feeding and taking supplemented formula like a champ. There have been a few afternoons where he was terribly fussy and the dogs were barking and I felt helpless. Because of Babywise (and common sense) we worked through it and I realized that his late afternoon feeding needs to be 3 ounces. 

Babywise isn't the end all-be all book. However, it has surely helped this 3-week mama have a better understanding on a newborn. So far, my post baby meltdowns have been over the dang dogs and not over a crying baby. 

Tips from 3-weeks of Babywise:

1. Write down your schedule and loosely follow it. I'm using a May Book baby journal. It's soooo easy and small enough I can put it in the diaper bag. If he is hungry 20 minutes before or after our "schedule"......the sweet little bambino gets fed! If you have an involved spouse like I do, this is a great tool for them to look and see what's next. 

2. Don't stress out if you get off schedule. Let it work in your favor. 

3. Be prepared at all times. I spend much of my day trying to outsmart a 3-week old. 

4. You want to stretch out feedings and not naps. The longer he sleeps during the day could impact his night.